Friday, September 27, 2013

2013 Movie Rreviews: Before the Fall edition

Here's what we saw this year before school started up again.

* * * 1/2 Les Miserables : Anne Hathaway's lovely white teeth puzzled me, but her singing was unbelievable and so all is forgiven. Russell Crowe also sang. Highlights include: Wolverine's harrowing prisoner beard, the despicable Msr. and Mme. Thenardier, and the always-heartbreaking Eponine. I was singing the whole score for weeks, although often with improvised lyrics. "But the diapers come at night...!"

* * * * Iron Man 3 : Ben Kingsley is just so delightful. Everything that comes out of that man's mouth is gold. He's a treasure too rich for any one film to contain. Thank you, Mandarin, for making our lives wonderful. (Everybody else was fine.)

* * * 1/2 Star Trek Into Darkness : Benedict Arnold Cumberbund is no Ricardo Montalban-- but then again, who is? I can't really hold that against them. And there are some spectacular visuals here, including the Enterprise literally jumping hundreds of sharks. But this movie loses a full star for the use of Cylon baby blood to blaspheme Leonard Nimoy's sacrifice. Shame on you, J.J. Abrams. Don't pull that crap with the new Star Wars, okay?

* * * * * Monsters University : This movie made me laugh so hard. More importantly, it tricked me. I bought the fakeout hard, thought that they were taking the easy way out. But this is Pixar, so they didn't. They played out the trope, then turned it on its head, then blew it into a million pieces. I walked out of that theater reexamining my ideas about how the world works, and how it should work. Well done.

That's all for now!


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