As the old saying goes
American kids are fat. Doctors say it's because they're not getting enough sleep. I blame the parents. They're the ones who drag kids out of bed at unreasonable hours to take them to crappy failing schools where they will get picked on by bullies.
Why not let them sleep in and skip school? School is prison. And kids are smarter than we think. Even babies are pretty sharp. So let your children run wild and free.
Just not, you know, too wild.
UPDATE: Now with adorable child video.