Missed headline opportunities

I know that most newspaper editors try to sound like they're, like, professional and serious and all that crap. But please, imaginary readers, peruse this story and see if you're not just a little disappointed by the headline.

So give it a think and then put your best effort in the comments. Winner gets a lifetime supply of vegemite.

--CHISAIBU

As the old saying goes

American kids are fat. Doctors say it's because they're not getting enough sleep. I blame the parents. They're the ones who drag kids out of bed at unreasonable hours to take them to crappy failing schools where they will get picked on by bullies.

Why not let them sleep in and skip school? School is prison. And kids are smarter than we think. Even babies are pretty sharp. So let your children run wild and free.

Just not, you know, too wild.

--JAN DEPAUW


UPDATE: Now with adorable child video.