Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Do I owe Ron Paul money?
Chapter 3: The Grand Alliance

It is increasingly clear that Ron Paul and Barack Obama have entered into a grand alliance. President Obama has, of course, learned of my promise to donate to Ron Paul's campaign if the gap between the Dow and the price of gold closes to 5000 by September of this year. And so to benefit his ally, Ron Paul, he is now deliberately wrecking the economy. There can be no other explanation.

And their diabolical plan is working. Since we last checked in, the actual gap between the Dow and the price of gold has been even smaller (and closing faster) than my Ron Paul nut expected. In other words, my prediction of economic stability has been wrong and his prediction of economic catastrophe has been not just on track, but ahead of the curve.

In my defense, Ron Paul and his nutty disciples have been prophesying a meltdown like this one for decades, and they've always been wrong before. Without his ally in the White House, he would be wrong again this year. But as anyone can see, Obama is determined to make Ron Paul's direst doomsayings come true. Grrr!

Anyway, here are the numbers. (A reminder for my imaginary readers: The difference was more than 10,000 in July of 2008, and my friend the Ron Paul-bot predicted that this would be halved by September of 2009. So the magic number is 5,000.)

January 21, 2009
* Dow Jones = 8,228.10 points
* Price of Gold = $849.25
* Difference = 7,378.85

February 20, 2009 (no data for 2/21)
* Dow Jones = 7,365.67 points
* Price of Gold = $989.00
* Difference = 6,376.67

March 20, 2009 (no data for 3/21)
* Dow Jones = 7,278.38 points
* Price of Gold = $954.00
* Difference = 6,324.38

If things don't turn up in the next few months, then Ron Paul and his grand allies in Washington will have won, and I will have to make a donation. Curses!

Come on, Obama! Give me some of that hope and change, man.

And a unicorn!

--JOHANNES CLERK

7 comments:

David said...

John, you should know better. Dr. Ron Paul, Savior of the Universe, Master of Golden Werewolves, will always be right. Shame on you for your completely rational, logical bet. But it's never too late for Dr. Paul to forgive your incredulity.

Hail Ron!

the House of Payne said...

I do know better, and in fact I didn't even write this post! It was the gold-hoarding space aliens that run the Federal Reserve! They hacked my account! The sickness is deep, man. It's deep.

squirrelyearl said...

Guess it's at least a plus that there wasn't a huge difference between last month and this month. Hope it rebounds before September if it doesn't at least hold at this point. Ron Paul doesn't deserve anybody's money (or their ear for that matter).

MAS1916 said...

Good luck on closing the gap. Inflation should separate the price of gold and the dollar value by early 2010.

Obama-fed inflation is going to kill any recovery then, which will further drive up the price of gold.

The Chosen One cannot do anything about this. If there is a silver lining, it will be that we all get to watch Him try and blame George Bush for hyper inflation.

the House of Payne said...

I'm not hoping the gap closes. I'm hoping it widens. I want the price of gold to stay low (as it has) and the stock market to recover (as it has not). I'm not a Ron Paul fan. I think he's a nut. I think his prophecies of hyperinflation, etc., are ridiculous fearmongering. And I hate Obama for making him look smart, even a little bit.

Stock Investment advice said...

Reizner talks about stocks, gold, inflation, the US dollar, and making money during a tumultuous political and economic climate.

the House of Payne said...

Thank you, RonPaulbot. That's good to know.