Do I owe Ron Paul money?
Chapter 3: The Grand Alliance

It is increasingly clear that Ron Paul and Barack Obama have entered into a grand alliance. President Obama has, of course, learned of my promise to donate to Ron Paul's campaign if the gap between the Dow and the price of gold closes to 5000 by September of this year. And so to benefit his ally, Ron Paul, he is now deliberately wrecking the economy. There can be no other explanation.

And their diabolical plan is working. Since we last checked in, the actual gap between the Dow and the price of gold has been even smaller (and closing faster) than my Ron Paul nut expected. In other words, my prediction of economic stability has been wrong and his prediction of economic catastrophe has been not just on track, but ahead of the curve.

In my defense, Ron Paul and his nutty disciples have been prophesying a meltdown like this one for decades, and they've always been wrong before. Without his ally in the White House, he would be wrong again this year. But as anyone can see, Obama is determined to make Ron Paul's direst doomsayings come true. Grrr!

Anyway, here are the numbers. (A reminder for my imaginary readers: The difference was more than 10,000 in July of 2008, and my friend the Ron Paul-bot predicted that this would be halved by September of 2009. So the magic number is 5,000.)

January 21, 2009
* Dow Jones = 8,228.10 points
* Price of Gold = $849.25
* Difference = 7,378.85

February 20, 2009 (no data for 2/21)
* Dow Jones = 7,365.67 points
* Price of Gold = $989.00
* Difference = 6,376.67

March 20, 2009 (no data for 3/21)
* Dow Jones = 7,278.38 points
* Price of Gold = $954.00
* Difference = 6,324.38

If things don't turn up in the next few months, then Ron Paul and his grand allies in Washington will have won, and I will have to make a donation. Curses!

Come on, Obama! Give me some of that hope and change, man.

And a unicorn!

--JOHANNES CLERK