If I had a wish then it would be
My little brother and I have birthdays that are a week apart. And also ten years. So anyway we just had them.
And he was saying that between 25 and whenever the senior discounts start happening, there's really no benefit to getting older. That's true. But I think I know how we could change that.
I turned 36 earlier this month, which is double 18. And when I turned 18, all kinds of things happened. I was considered an adult, I got to vote, etc. So here's what I'm thinking. Each multiple of 18, you should get more privileges. So at twice 18, I should get two votes.
Now, with great power comes great responsibility. So to balance out getting two votes, my name would go in twice if there was a draft. And the same for 54 and 72 year olds, etc. This would also have the virtue of making sure that America's armies are wiser and more experienced.
I see no downside. Maybe my close personal friend, and noted super-genius, Barack Obama will be able to make this happen. Finally, we can finally smash the tyranny of the young!
Hey, you kids-- get off my lawn! Alte kackers uber alles!
--DAS SCHMERZHAUS
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Friday, May 20, 2011
Movie review: Special weather-god edition
Instead of waiting and doing a year's worth of movies all at once, maybe I should do my reviews as they come. That way, my thoughts might help you, my imaginary readers, to know which movies to spend your money on.
Anyway, I saw Thor Saturday night with my buddy Frank. Pretty good! But I have one question: Why do people keep thinking that Anthony Hopkins is going to give gravitas to their popcorn movie? Because that's just silly.
I did like how Thor hit bad guys with his magic hammer. Pow! And Natalie Portman is super cute, despite her many crimes. Plus, I was actually moved by seeing Thor's terrible sorrow at being kicked out of Asgard and cut off.
Worth seeing on the big screen, but you can probably wait for the dollar theater. Three stars!
I would have given four if Thor had said, "My mighty heart is breaking. I'll be in the Humvee." Five if they had included Beta Ray Bill. Maybe in the sequel...
--ABDUL ALEM
PS - Don't pay for 3D. It just made the fight scenes harder to follow.
Instead of waiting and doing a year's worth of movies all at once, maybe I should do my reviews as they come. That way, my thoughts might help you, my imaginary readers, to know which movies to spend your money on.
Anyway, I saw Thor Saturday night with my buddy Frank. Pretty good! But I have one question: Why do people keep thinking that Anthony Hopkins is going to give gravitas to their popcorn movie? Because that's just silly.
I did like how Thor hit bad guys with his magic hammer. Pow! And Natalie Portman is super cute, despite her many crimes. Plus, I was actually moved by seeing Thor's terrible sorrow at being kicked out of Asgard and cut off.
Worth seeing on the big screen, but you can probably wait for the dollar theater. Three stars!
I would have given four if Thor had said, "My mighty heart is breaking. I'll be in the Humvee." Five if they had included Beta Ray Bill. Maybe in the sequel...
--ABDUL ALEM
PS - Don't pay for 3D. It just made the fight scenes harder to follow.
Monday, May 09, 2011
Restaurants of Nephi, part 4
Well, this blog post is bittersweet, since it is the final entry in this series-- at least for now. The Princess of Power has flown away to Eternia, so for the foreseeable future I will be taking fewer trips to Nephi.
But I think we've managed to cover the ground pretty well. In the last week, we managed to get two local institutions, Lisa's Country Kitchen, and Reed's Drive-In.
Lisa's was full of atmosphere and local color and all that, and they also gave us a little loaf of hot bread while we waited (briefly) for our food. Yay! They serve breakfast all day, so I ordered biscuits and gravy, hash browns, and an egg sunny-side up. (Unfortunately, they do not poach.) Her Royal Highness got the special, which was clam chowder to start, and chicken-fried chicken with mashed potatoes.
The best part about mine was the gravy, but since that came on the chicken as well, I definitely feel like I got the short end of the stick this time. I mean, the biscuits were fine, but the chicken was really excellent. On the other hand, my hash browns did defeat her mashed potatoes quite handily. So, I think we both came out all right.
On my very last trip to Nephi, we visited Reed's Drive-In. I got the Malibu chicken sandwich, fries, and a soda. S-R had a footlong and tater tots, and we split a Reese's peanut butter and chocolate shake.
The footlong was interesting because it was sliced in half, the long way, and put on a hoagie bun. Interesting, but not nearly as good as my malibu chicken, which was really good. Long story short, I won the food race.
And now, having sampled every restaurant in Nephi (or near enough), I can definitively say that if you are passing through town and want a bite to eat, you should go to Mi Rancherito-- the first place S-R took me. Thanks, babe! And you're welcome, imaginary readers.
--JOHANNES CLERK
Well, this blog post is bittersweet, since it is the final entry in this series-- at least for now. The Princess of Power has flown away to Eternia, so for the foreseeable future I will be taking fewer trips to Nephi.
But I think we've managed to cover the ground pretty well. In the last week, we managed to get two local institutions, Lisa's Country Kitchen, and Reed's Drive-In.
Lisa's was full of atmosphere and local color and all that, and they also gave us a little loaf of hot bread while we waited (briefly) for our food. Yay! They serve breakfast all day, so I ordered biscuits and gravy, hash browns, and an egg sunny-side up. (Unfortunately, they do not poach.) Her Royal Highness got the special, which was clam chowder to start, and chicken-fried chicken with mashed potatoes.
The best part about mine was the gravy, but since that came on the chicken as well, I definitely feel like I got the short end of the stick this time. I mean, the biscuits were fine, but the chicken was really excellent. On the other hand, my hash browns did defeat her mashed potatoes quite handily. So, I think we both came out all right.
On my very last trip to Nephi, we visited Reed's Drive-In. I got the Malibu chicken sandwich, fries, and a soda. S-R had a footlong and tater tots, and we split a Reese's peanut butter and chocolate shake.
The footlong was interesting because it was sliced in half, the long way, and put on a hoagie bun. Interesting, but not nearly as good as my malibu chicken, which was really good. Long story short, I won the food race.
And now, having sampled every restaurant in Nephi (or near enough), I can definitively say that if you are passing through town and want a bite to eat, you should go to Mi Rancherito-- the first place S-R took me. Thanks, babe! And you're welcome, imaginary readers.
--JOHANNES CLERK
Monday, May 02, 2011
OSAMA BIN LADEN IS DEAD!
Party at my house, America! Let's dance!
Yes, I know there are still terrorists out there, and yada yada yada. But this morning, the birds are chirping, the sun is shining, and a man responsible for the deaths of thousands of Americans has gone to meet his eternal reward.
Hallefrickinlujah!
--JHON NOONIEN SINGH
Party at my house, America! Let's dance!
Yes, I know there are still terrorists out there, and yada yada yada. But this morning, the birds are chirping, the sun is shining, and a man responsible for the deaths of thousands of Americans has gone to meet his eternal reward.
Hallefrickinlujah!
--JHON NOONIEN SINGH
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