Saturday, July 29, 2006

Worst children's book ever

I've seen a lot of retarded things in my days, but... damn... this is pretty retarded. It's a children's book entitled Why Mommy is a Democrat. Seriously. My first reaction was thinking that maybe the author should write another book calledWhy Mommy feels like she needs to justify her political affiliation to a toddler. But I looked a little deeper, and found out that this book is even goofier than I thought at first glance.

The author is a man. And he has no children of his own. So perhaps a better title would have been Why Mommy's boyfriend thinks Mommy is a Democrat. Seems to me if Mommy really wanted to share her reasons, Mommy's boyfriend could have helped her publish her own book with her own actual reasons, instead of presuming to speak for her. Seems like that would be more progressive and less patronizing.

But what do I know?

--ABDUL ALEM

(h/t: Someone at Ace of Spades HQ.)

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

No goose-stepping in the House

I don't know that anyone has actually seriously called me a fascist since middle school, even counting internet interactions. But some people have certainly given me dirty looks when I have (cheerfully) confessed to voting for Bush, even though I know that he is personally puppeted by His Satanic Majesty, the Prince of Darkness.

But anyways, I am now pre-empting all potential critics by announcing that I am officially not a fascist. It's science! Hooray! See, there was this test devised back after WWII to check Americans for fascist sympathies. And now it's posted online! Here are my results:


Your F Score is: 3.33

You are disciplined but tolerant; a true American.


Yay! No goose-stepping! No heiling! No little moustaches! No Illinois Nazis! Yay America!

--BIG JACK LE PEN

Sunday, July 16, 2006

Hey guess what

I got a job. How cool is that?

--MAJOR BLUDD