Thank you, paranoid potheads

In 2000, fifty million people voted for George W. Bush. This year, although the results are still being added up, it appears that fifty-eight or fifty-nine million people voted for George W. Bush.

Thank you, Michael Moore, and all your wild-eyed, unwashed hippie friends. Four years of crazy talk and whining have convinced eight or nine million Americans to vote Republican. Now, please move to France, as you have promised you would.

Thanks again, and good night.

--JUAN PENA

(UPDATE 11/29: It now appears that George W. Bush got almost sixty-one million votes. So the Democrats managed to convince not eight, not nine, but more than ten million Americans to vote Republican. Thanks, guys! You're the best!)